She's Gone....and I am Man

The one who left without any harm done. The one who I felt was going to get me out of my boy mentallity and force me into a man's world. She filled my heart with a reason to stay focused. Filled my mind with images of what the rest of my life would be like with her in it without even trying. I seen myself a better man then the next one. I accomplished breaking the seal and getting to know her as a person. It turned into what seemed like it was going to be the perfect relationship between two who just met. Two who came from different world's but had the same turmoil in life. Two that if united would have to hold eachother up knowing that the other would always be there whenever needed. When she let me down she did it so smooth I couldn't even put up an arguement. I didn't want to feel like the fool I was for putting trust in someone that I knew was to intellectual to be true to someone like me. Someone who would drop everything for his girl and come when ever needed. A women that had a hold on me for the longest and tears my heart everytime I think of why I'm not good enough. I never cheated, I didn't act like the dogs women think men all are. I submitted as a man and got filled with false hope. The type of false hope that keeps you waiting for the inebidable. The full break up.........The separation of all emotion ties from one party to the next even though one party already knew they were going to do it but did it slow so that it wouldn't hurt the heart bad. Its funny how false hope of hopefully being with that person again can keep you  always thinking about them and what could still be when in actuality it's all a "LIE"....A lie that has changed my perception of her and what she really was to me. It seems as if it was all just a game for her entertainment but hurts me because I was the puppet and she the puppettier. How I dread the occurence of how I have been hurt but don't hold it to her throat because "I AM"..."I AM" to much of a man to let a women hold my heart in a glass and take it out when she needs it....To much of a man to let her control my mind more than my heart controls its beat..and to much of a man not to stand up and get back on my feet and say "I AM" that Man that my mom raised me to be and I guess she did to good of a job for you to be with me...Now my heart smiles with Joy my face screams in relief, and my eyes cry the pain away from thee...I am free

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