Wonder

I wonder if I choose the right one...Everyday I see her and she doesn't see me the way I look at her...She walks past with that ooh so beatiful smile and waves..I think to myself, why am I not with her. When she hugs and kisses me my heart slows like the breeze from a beach on a nice day. It warms my soul and stimulates my mind as if she were a part off me even though she is just touching me. It makes me think is this a tease. I wonder...should I have chosen her to be mine rather than she...It's running through my mind I want her, she wants him, she leaves me but I'm always with him. Ha I chuckle...This is some deep shit...Excuse my language but it pains me to see both and be alone when its waiting for me...What's stopping me...I wonder if it's the chip on my shoulder, no thats not it..It's the wonder of what if...What if thing don't go as they seem should I just wait until she's ready. The bible say have patience and wait but sometimes to get what you want you have to go get it. But the risk and fear or rejection is to unbarable for me to be daring...So I wait....and wait.....I wait till the pain is to strong for me to go on one more day without you. I'm here, you there, 2010 is the year...Now I wonder where we go from here...Im ready are you?

Dig Deep and Swallow

To all Men who feel they should never have to apologize...To All men who make mistakes everyday and don't think anything of it...How do you misunderstand the situation and feel you have to do nothing to make it right...How do you feel that you can walk over anyone that comes into your path and look back and say "You Good" or "You Aiight" using the klanguage that isn't legal but spoken everyday, Ebonics...Lower the black man further everday...Disgracing what our ancestors worked so hard for by killing your own people, running the streets, wearing your pants on your thighs and not the waist it was meant for...Living the average life built by the HOOD and lived by the projects...Living the life that every white man laughs at when looking upon us as entertainment nd not strong people when the truth is we built this nation...we were the underdogs who came back and won the game...So I Dare you...Hold it..."I Double Dare you to Dig Deep and Swallow the pride that your "Hood" gave you...Better yourself as a black man and step out of the ordinary standards set by the street or block you live on but never forget where you came from...Always remember that where you live and how you were raised made you the man you grew up to be...

She's Gone....and I am Man

The one who left without any harm done. The one who I felt was going to get me out of my boy mentallity and force me into a man's world. She filled my heart with a reason to stay focused. Filled my mind with images of what the rest of my life would be like with her in it without even trying. I seen myself a better man then the next one. I accomplished breaking the seal and getting to know her as a person. It turned into what seemed like it was going to be the perfect relationship between two who just met. Two who came from different world's but had the same turmoil in life. Two that if united would have to hold eachother up knowing that the other would always be there whenever needed. When she let me down she did it so smooth I couldn't even put up an arguement. I didn't want to feel like the fool I was for putting trust in someone that I knew was to intellectual to be true to someone like me. Someone who would drop everything for his girl and come when ever needed. A women that had a hold on me for the longest and tears my heart everytime I think of why I'm not good enough. I never cheated, I didn't act like the dogs women think men all are. I submitted as a man and got filled with false hope. The type of false hope that keeps you waiting for the inebidable. The full break up.........The separation of all emotion ties from one party to the next even though one party already knew they were going to do it but did it slow so that it wouldn't hurt the heart bad. Its funny how false hope of hopefully being with that person again can keep you  always thinking about them and what could still be when in actuality it's all a "LIE"....A lie that has changed my perception of her and what she really was to me. It seems as if it was all just a game for her entertainment but hurts me because I was the puppet and she the puppettier. How I dread the occurence of how I have been hurt but don't hold it to her throat because "I AM"..."I AM" to much of a man to let a women hold my heart in a glass and take it out when she needs it....To much of a man to let her control my mind more than my heart controls its beat..and to much of a man not to stand up and get back on my feet and say "I AM" that Man that my mom raised me to be and I guess she did to good of a job for you to be with me...Now my heart smiles with Joy my face screams in relief, and my eyes cry the pain away from thee...I am free

Copyright All Rights Reserved

A Day of Breath

Everyday I wake up I think to myself what my life could be like and what I'm doing to obtain this imaginary view on my life. Then I realize that anything I can think of in my head I can make a reality to myself. (Breath)Yes others will have there opinion and yes there will be people who doubt, but there always there. They take turns denying the support that every dream chaser looks for. But in the end if it is really meant to happen "self-acknowledgment" kicks in.(Breath) You realize that you don't need anyones approval to get what you want out of life. All you have to do is keep dreaming and make it a reality to yourself. "Until it is a reality to you it wont be a reality to those who doubt you". (Breath)True words spoken from someone who has been doubt for life. I always lived in the fighter position, the maybe maybe not, or not a chance in hell, but I pushed through the obstacles and stood on my own to feet with the help of God and lived.(Breath) I survived all that came against me when know one else would help he sent me strength. When my grandfather pasted he help me keep moving...GOD...The one true fathert to all who know him and to those who hear but not speak on him.(Breath) Those who listen and those who neglect it's only a matter of time before you realize that all this time you thought he wasn't with you he was always watching. Every morning after these stories and memories run through my mind I make it known that I thank him for "A Day of Breath". (Breath)Many don't get that chance to wake up the next day and strive for what the work so hard for but I live my life day by day hoping to get to the Next Day of Breath. Fresh out(Breath)........because with every Breath I take another thank you and idea and opportunity comes from god.

Copyright All Rights Reserved

Seeing Through The Camera

The camera catches what we will not see if it were not there. It shows us how untrained the human eye is naturally. The camera is the most silent witness who always gets the story right. Sometimes it can lie to us on how we are seen as people in others eyes. With the proper lighting, make-up, and effects aka lies, cheats, and surrounding the camera can tell the biggest lie on how lives are lived. But that me speaking not the camera. The camera speak with images no word. Freeze frames...no motion, Action...of all being watch. it speaks a language that everyone can understand............."Life".........It always tells whats going to happen or come to pass. The life of a camera wether video or still shot is the greatest life of all. It does what many hope to achieve in life. That is something that is to get million to agknowledge what they present as a person or artist and it only needs one freeze frame or one video to accomplish it. Many humans hope for that but don't realize that a camera help accomplish what people see or think stardom is. The true advertisement of this life all begins "In the Eyes of the Camera".